


contra bonos mores

by Aylen



Series: a capite ad calcem [11]
Category: 2770 ab urbe condita - Fandom, Original Work
Genre: Alternate Universe - Ancient Rome, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Slavery, Anal Plug, Character Growth, Crying, Cuddling, Distress, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Explicit Sexual Content, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Milking Machine, Non-Consensual Bondage, Non-Consensual Touching, Non-Consensual Voyeurism, Relationship Discussions, Sexual Slavery, Showers, Stockholm Syndrome, Trauma, Unintentionally Abusive Relationship, Whump
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-18
Updated: 2019-11-30
Packaged: 2021-01-30 10:34:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 6
Words: 13,270
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21426796
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aylen/pseuds/Aylen
Summary: Julian makes a mistake, and Artemis has to deal with the consequences—at least, until Markus steps in to try to help.
Relationships: Julian Valerius/Artemis (2770 ab urbe condita), Original Male Characters/Original Male Characters
Series: a capite ad calcem [11]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1283009
Comments: 60
Kudos: 86
Collections: 2770 ab urbe condita - the collected fiction





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! So this fic (mainly this first chapter) started out as something I wrote because, well, I wanted to. But it sat in my drafts for a few months <s>okay five months</s> as I tried to figure out what to do with it. I had almost left this first chapter as it was, not having written anything else, but I realized that I needed to expand on the story to flesh it out, and add some needed exploration of the trauma caused. So I wrote this first chapter because I wanted it (as is the way...), but then I also wanted some depth and story and character-building, so that happens in subsequent chapters that have all been completed. 
> 
> So, hopefully you enjoy the first chapter—or not; I don't know why you clicked on this fic, maybe you like to read characters suffering? *coughs* I sure do, apparently—and take comfort in the rest of the story. I promise that most things are resolved, as much as they can be. 
> 
> Please read the tags, but to reiterate, this fic deals with slavery of a sexual nature, and emotional resilience, and healing, but it shouldn’t be taken as a healthy relationship in any sense of the term. Non-consent is woven into the fabric of this society and as such, even if there are discussions about limits, and boundaries, and intentions, none of it is morally alright. In the universe, these relationships are portrayed as normal, and in my fic they make mistakes and grow as people, but at the core of it, it is a flawed and damaging dynamic that isn’t healthy. But this is fiction and I’m exploring a situation where the characters do the best they can under the circumstances, and try to find normality and healing as well as they can, in the situation they’re in. 
> 
> Note: If you do want to read the fic but want to skip the milking machine section (it’s actually not that long and you won’t miss much of the story if you skip it), search for ‘shower’, and you should be at the end of it.
> 
> Also, many thanks to [maqcy](https://archiveofourown.org/users/maqcy) for their fantastic beta as always! Any mistakes otherwise made are entirely mine.

Artemis has accompanied Julian to the Universitas a half dozen times when they go again on a warm spring day. Julian has just one class to teach and it shouldn’t take more than a few hours. Artemis doesn’t think anything of it, and imagines that he’ll stay in the auditorium or in Julian’s office as usual—Julian now allows him access to some books, which he enjoys. 

But when they don’t go the regular route to Julian’s office, Artemis wonders where they _are_ going. To see a colleague, perhaps? It is curious though when they enter what looks like a medical building. There are medical symbols and statues about and specialists listed on a large board in the central atrium. Artemis shivers and has a sudden bad feeling about why they’re here. Does this have anything to do with Magister Corvus? He glances at Julian as they go up an elevator… but his master doesn’t look much different. 

They stop on the third floor and go to a small reception area where a pretty female slave takes Julian’s name—and Artemis’ as well. Artemis _knows _something’s about to happen, then, and he looks at his master nervously as Julian takes a seat in one of the chairs. Artemis kneels next to him and shifts Julian’s bag on his shoulder, debating if he can ask what’s going on. 

He plucks up the courage a few minutes later. 

“Dominus—”

“Magister Valerius?” says a man with a nut-brown complexion in a white lab coat just as Artemis speaks. Julian rises and Artemis does too, trying to keep his eyes on the floor as he should. 

“Salve, and you are…?”

“Medicus Maecilius,” the man says with a bright smile. “I hope Magister Corvus mentioned me in his email…”

“Oh yes he did, good to meet you.”

“The pleasure is mine,” the man says, glancing to Artemis. “And this is your slave? Oh he looks very nice.” The man’s gaze sweeps over Artemis unashamedly and Artemis flushes, his eyebrows drawing together as he keeps his eyes on the floor. Why does this man care what _he _looks like? 

“Yes, this is Artemis. I believe he will do very well for your needs.”

_Needs, _what? Artemis swallows, having a very bad feeling about this place now. 

“Yes I believe so as well,” Maecilius says. “Why don’t we just go in and hook him up so you can get on with your day?” 

He and Julian fall in together and Artemis is left to follow, feeling very much like a frightened puppy with his tail between his legs. What _is _this place? And what’s going to happen to him? 

“We do appreciate it here. We do have a fair number of subjects to work with but it’s always nice to get a new slave in. And the compensation estimate is to your satisfaction I hope? We will calculate everything after his session but it will of course come out to market value. And this lab is the cleanest in the city in my opinion so you have nothing to worry about…”

“I trust your estimates and judgement, certainly,” Julian says, and Artemis can’t help that he feels slightly panicky and sick that Julian is going to be paid for whatever’s about to happen to him. Yes, Julian has a right to that but it still makes him sad, and confused. Why is he here? To service somebody? For somebody to fuck him? Is that it? He wishes he had been told about this beforehand, so at least he’d know what he was in for. He feels completely unprepared and lost, and tries to stick close to Julian as they go down a polished hall. His ears prick up when he hears soft moaning and panting, a few cries coming from rooms farther down. Oh, _gods_. 

Maecilius stops at a door and holds back a heavy blue plastic curtain, smiling at them as they enter. Artemis’ eyes are immediately drawn to a man strapped into a chair-like contraption, with his legs up in metal stirrups and… a suction tube on his cock. He’s gagged and blindfolded and groaning, his body shifting in the restraints as the suction tube sucks at a steady pace. Pale fluid in a long tube goes from the device on his cock to a canister on the floor. There are various wires hooked up to the machine and the man, monitoring his vitals on a screen above. 

Artemis has gone pale, and realizes he’s frozen in place. He hurries to keep up with his master and Maecilius, hoping pathetically that he’ll still leave here with Julian. 

They’ve stopped at an empty chair identical to the one the other man is strapped to. Artemis looks at it in terror, shifting and breathing a little heavier. 

“Fascinating set-up you have here,” Julian says. “How long has that slave been here?”

“Oh that one?” Maecilius says, typing something on his tablet. “Three hours already. His master will be back in two more so… it’s a long haul but he’s alright.”

Five _hours_? Artemis bites his lip. 

“Alright if your slave could strip, please, and we can get him in.”

Julian turns to him to take his bag. Artemis hands it over weakly and shifts. 

“Dominus?” he asks, head low. 

Julian looks at him with raised eyebrows, and something inscrutable in his eyes. “Yes, Ari? Strip please like the medicus said.”

Artemis shivers, fumbling with his belt. “How long will I be here for, Dominus?” he asks, and his hands shake as he unbuckles it. Maecilius gets a plastic bucket from the side and holds it out for his clothes. Artemis swallows and puts the belt in. 

“A few hours. It’ll be alright. It seems like a perfectly harmless machine and I know you’ll do very well. You’ll be on a webcam that I can access from my phone too so I’ll check up on you a few times.”

Artemis resists the urge to whine. 

“Okay. Thank you, Dominus…” He looks at the device again and swallows, hands shifting on the hem of his tunic. 

“Strip, now, alright?” Julian says again, somewhat stiffly, and Artemis makes a small noise but nods and does as asked, pulling off his tunic and giving it and his shoes to Maecilius. 

The lab tech puts the bin aside and goes to stand next to the chair, giving Artemis a smile and waving him forward. Artemis can’t make himself move, and feels slightly sick. He doesn’t want to be here, away from Julian in some _lab _getting milked by a _machine_ with strangers watching. 

“I…”

“You’ll be fine.” 

“Dominus… please, I’ll… do…” He’s gravitated back to Julian, unsure what he’s even saying. 

Julian sighs tightly and takes Artemis’ chin, lifting it. “You’ll be alright. I’m making sure you will be alright,” he says clearly, and Artemis looks into his eyes fearfully, nodding. 

“Yes, Dominus. Thank you. I just—I don’t know if I can—”

Julian’s eyebrows draw. “Ari, this is for your own good, and I think you need a gag right now. It’ll calm you down. So hold still and be a good boy, okay?”

Artemis whines softly in surprise and then there are hands coming up over his head with a blue ball gag held in them. He startles backward into the medicus’ chest in surprise and the gag stops on his lips. He whines again and shakes his head. 

“Dominus, please, I can—” he mumbles quietly, tears at his eyes. 

“Open your mouth,” Julian says, and Artemis whimpers, frozen with fear. Julian looks into his eyes with hard ones of his own and shifts his fingers so they’re on Artemis’ cheeks. Tears spill down Artemis’ face but Julian squeezes between his molars until it hurts and Artemis is forced to open his mouth. 

Artemis’ heart beats hard in his chest and confusion fills his head, a fuzzy noise threatening to block everything else out. 

The blue squishy ball is immediately pulled past his teeth to fill his mouth up. He groans and sniffs, tears still coming as it’s buckled around behind his head. He feels wretched and horrible for being unable to obey Julian, who’s looking at him worriedly. Then Maecilius is rubbing his back and taking his arm, leading him over to the machine. Artemis goes numbly, shivering as he sits on it, his eyes down. It’s cool in here and he has a chill already, getting goosebumps along his arms and legs. 

“Lay back,” Maecilius says with a firm hand on his chest, and Artemis does. “Good boy.”

He shivers at the praise, just wishing it were Julian giving it to him instead. Wetness drips down his jaw as Maecilius wraps a large strap over his lower belly, and then one just below his pecs. Next, he wraps cuffs around his wrists and upper arms. Artemis shifts uncomfortably, already feeling completely helpless. His red, hurting eyes slip to Julian who’s watching impassively, his expression shuttered. 

Artemis blinks back tears and sniffs, feeling nauseous and alone and betrayed suddenly. He knows there’s no expectation of a master to protect a slave from uncomfortable situations—in fact the opposite is usually true. But he had thought… well. He doesn’t know what he thought. That Julian was different? Apparently not. 

Julian sighs, coming around to the side. Artemis turns away from him, but Julian wipes his tears away anyway. 

“You’re doing very well, pet. These are just so you don’t hurt yourself.”

Yeah, so he doesn’t hurt himself struggling in this infernal torture device, Artemis thinks, but he just bites down on the gag. He whimpers and shivers when Maecilius takes first one leg and then the other and lifts them into the stirrups in either side of the chair, leaving his genitals totally exposed. He looks to the door, knowing anyone could come in at any time and see him like this. 

Maecilius straps his calves down, and then to Artemis’ humiliation there’s a neck strap too. This one is padded but it still limits his movements even further. He sniffs, his feet shifting in the stirrups. His toes curl in the cool air and he swallows. Julian pets his face sympathetically and, desperate, he leans into the touch, aching for comfort despite the fact that Julian is the one who made this happen. 

Next comes the actual suction tube. It has a larger tube on the end, a bit bigger than a cock, which feeds into a smaller tube that curls away down to the side. Maecilius lubes up his cock lightly and then slips it into the tube. Artemis squirms and whines at the unpleasant sensation. It’s cold—and then the suction starts up. He jerks in the restraints as the machine starts to milk him. It doesn’t take long for him to get hard, but the sensation is maddeningly at odds with how he’s feeling. He wants to run and hide from everything and yet here he is being forcibly brought to arousal by a cold machine. He feels like a cow or some other pathetic farm creature. 

He pants as the machine stimulates his cock, a never-ending pulsation. He watches it go up and down, his red cock inside the tube growing and bobbing in the plastic sleeve. He wants to touch himself _somewhere_ or rip the thing off himself, but the cuffs are immovable. 

Moaning, he turns his head away, feeling more tears at his eyes. He grips the conveniently placed metal bars where his hands are and tries to calm down. This is _awful. _

“It’s perfectly safe, yes?” Julian asks, watching dubiously, and Maecilius nods. 

“Yes, of course. He’ll be absolutely fine.”

“Good…”

Maecilius then explains everything that’s happening. Artemis listens vaguely, just focusing right now on the low stimulation. It’s not enough to get him off right away by a long shot, but he figures that that’s intentional, and also better. The longer he doesn’t come the longer he can stay here and not go insane with overstimulation. He isn’t looking forward to it though, whatever happens. He can already feel sweat gathering on his thighs. 

“Alright. Now, I’ll put in the plug and attach the clamps,” Maecilius says. “These are the vibrating ones you can control with your mobile…”

Artemis shivers. _What?_

“Thank you for wanting to test them out, by the way. We want to make sure they work properly…”

Artemis whines softly and shifts, tears coming again as he pulls at the restraints in protest. Please just let him bear this without anything else... 

“You’ve upset him,” Julian says tightly, sighing and giving Artemis a kiss on the cheek. He pets his hair and Artemis shudders. “It’s going to be alright, pet. Just relax. You are safe here, and I will collect you very soon. Alright? Please say you’ll try?” Artemis sniffs and doesn’t look at him. Julian sighs, wiping his tears away. “Be good for me. I know you can.”

Maecilius comes back with a large, lubed plug in his hands. Artemis squirms, biting the gag and clenching desperately. Julian strokes his arm as Maecilius lines it up and pushes it in gently but firmly, breaching the tight ring of muscle without regard for the resistance. Artemis keens at the intrusion, tears running down his face at the awful feeling of fullness. Of course, his attention is summarily distracted by the milking machine working his dick so infuriatingly evenly, and he hates how the plug brushes that place in him that feels so good and has his dick twitching. _Fuck_. He clenches against it in annoyance and tries to push it out, but the bulb is too big for him to manage, and the neck is frustratingly large as well. 

Julian goes around in front of him to see, taking out his mobile and taking a picture. Artemis watches balefully, unable to do a thing about it. Julian reaches out and taps the plug, making Artemis jerk in surprise. Julian hums and twists it slightly, and Artemis pants and huffs, his feet twisting. 

Next come the clamps, which are little more than small clips. Artemis watches helplessly as Maecilius clips them onto his nipples, and he keens plaintively at the pain, tears falling more readily now. He moans behind the gag and twists his wrists. Julian comes around and wipes his tears away again, kissing him softly. 

“Be good for me, Ari,” he says, and Artemis shivers, toes curling. “This is helpful to me. Please try not to hurt yourself.” He strokes his cheek. “You can do it.”

_No, he can’t_, Artemis thinks petulantly, the whine shuddering in his throat. 

“...Would you like to try out the mobile app before you leave?” Maecilius asks, and Julian nods. Artemis shakes his head and whines. 

“Shh,” Julian says, making Artemis go silent. He watches Julian on his mobile, tapping a few things. 

Then the plug and clamps buzz in and against him, making him yelp against the gag, eyes wide. His gaze snaps to the pump on his cock and sees his traitorous white precome bubble up. Julian hums, interest in his eyes. 

“He’s very responsive,” Maecilius says, and Julian smiles tightly. 

“Yes, he is.” Julian puts his hand out and strokes Artemis’ thigh, hand moving to stroke around his groin, making the slave shiver with desire. 

Maecilius does one last thing, attaching the monitor wires to his chest that connect with the screen displaying his vitals above his head, which Julian scrutinizes before sighing. 

“Well. I should be going.” He turns to Artemis, who looks at him, bereft and tired already. Julian leans in and kisses his cheek, stroking his cheek and hair. “You’ve done very well so far. Will you be a good boy and not fight this? I’ll be back before you know it.”

Artemis looks into his master’s eyes pleadingly and whines as if to say _‘Please don’t go. Please don’t leave me here alone.’ _But Julian just arches an eyebrow and Artemis nods, looking down. He wants to make Julian happy, he does. 

“Good boy,” Julian says, kissing him again before turning to go. Artemis watches him with an ache in his chest, and he and Maecilius chat as they leave the room. When they’re gone, Artemis tugs at the restraints and cries helplessly, watching his own cock be stimulated. It’s frustrating and annoying and he hates it. Kept in a state of arousal and unable to get off. And if he _does_ get off, it’ll just keep going and make it agony for him, so why would he want that?

He huffs and looks over to the other man—slave?—in the same predicament. He looks resigned, though he shifts every few minutes. Artemis wishes he could talk to him. If only to distract himself. 

Time drags, and Artemis is thankful that he hasn’t come yet. But then, without warning, the plug in his ass and the clamps buzz to life. He yelps against the gag and tenses, sobbing as his dick pulses. He looks around wildly, straining his neck against the strap. He knows there’s a camera in here. Julian is watching him. _Was_ watching him, and decided it would be fun to torment him. Artemis is panting by the time it falls still, and he shifts in the cuffs. He’s hard and red in the suction tube. His eyes flicker wearily, and the buzzing starts up again. He grunts and strains against the restraints, then mumbles around the gag. _Please, please stop. Dominus,_ he thinks desperately. But it doesn’t stop, and soon he’s coming into the tube with a cry, his yells muffled by the gag.

He’s crying and squirming by the time buzzing stops, and then all he has to deal with is the suction against his tender cock. He whines and sniffs, shifting uncomfortably as he’s milked with no regard to his sensitivity. He watches the white liquid be suctioned away into the canister by the side of the chair. He wonders what they’ll do with it after. 

A short while later, Maecilius the lab tech comes in. Artemis looks at him hopefully but then keeps his eyes down, knowing that his master wouldn’t tolerate insolence. He shifts when the Roman comes up to him and assesses him. He hums and goes around the front, tugging the plug out a bit and squirting some more lube on it before pushing it in again. Artemis huffs. Maecilius comes back around to him. 

“How are you doing, Ari?” he asks, and Artemis whimpers quietly. 

Maecilius hums again, smoothing a hand over his damp belly and around his pecs, his finger drawing around the nipple. Artemis closes his eyes and pants, toes curling. He wonders if Julian is watching him being touched by someone other than himself. 

“Mm, you’re alright. Good for another hour or so I think.” Artemis shivers. “But you’re being just a little too quiet. So, this gag is coming off…”

_What_? Artemis whines softly as Maecilius unbuckles the ballgag and eases it out of his mouth. Artemis stretches his jaw and wets his mouth and lips, thankful for a brief rest. He watches Maecilius clean the gag at the deep metal utility sink off to the side, and then takes another from his lab coat pocket. This new one is the same as the one Julian our on him the first day in his house; it’s got a metal ring to hold his mouth open, though it is covered in silicone to ease the sharpness. Artemis shifts uncomfortably, locking his jaw. He _hates_ that gag. 

“Now come on,” Maecilius says, bringing the gag up. “Open up.” Artemis shakes his head a little and feels tears at his eyes. “Slave, I will not ask you again,” Maecilius snaps. “Open your mouth or I will open it for you.”

Artemis whines desperately and his jaw slackens out of fear, his lips parting. 

“There we go,” Maecilius says, shoving the large gag into his mouth and forcing his jaw open. “There’s a good boy.” 

Tears slip down Artemis’ cheeks as the gag is buckled on none too gently. He swallows with difficulty and can hear his breathing loudly now, is aware of his tongue in his mouth on display. Maecilius smiles and peers close, holding the gag by his cheek for a moment to hold him still. 

“Beautiful,” he says, and his other hand slips down to Artemis’ nipple. He agitated the clamp and Artemis whines loudly in pain, his noises no longer muffled by a gag but utterly unrestricted. He goes tense in the restraints and can’t help the whimpers that slip out. “There…” Maecilius says with sickly-sweet softness, his eyes wide and almost lustful, or frenzied. Artemis thinks if the lab tech forgot himself he might actually drool. The image might be funny if he didn’t feel absolutely disgusting right now. He hates this man, and he doesn’t trust him. 

When Maecilius releases the gag, Artemis turns his head away and closes his eyes. Maecilius chuckles, breathing warmly onto his face. 

“Yes, that’s much better.” He pats Artemis’ belly again and then checks the suction on his cock. Artemis can only cringe as he gets on with it, and then he leaves the room and Artemis breathes a sigh of relief. He shifts his jaw around the uncomfortable gag and tries to relax again. 

It’s boring and frustrating but he manages to zone out—until the plug and clamps buzz to life again. The cry that comes from his throat is loud and pained, and he twists in the restraints, wailing softly and moaning as tears wet his face. He can see in his peripheral vision the other man look over apologetically, and he winces. But there’s little he can do as he comes helplessly into the tube again. He’s desperately sensitive now and nearly in pain but there’s nothing he can do. He whines without thinking and then tries to relax. 

His ‘rest’ lasts for a while, and then the buzzing comes again _jolting _him from a dazed daydream and into the present. This one is unrelenting, until he’s shrieking and moaning through the gag, any last trace of release utterly drawn from him. He’s left panting and shaking, crying wetly and feeling utterly undone. How long has it been? Hours. How many? It seems like five. 

The wait is miserable, but then finally_, finally_ he hears voices coming and then both Julian and Maecilius walk in, smiles on their faces and eyes lit up as they joke with each other about something Artemis is too frazzled to hear. He perks up just a little, his eyes drawn to his master’s feet. His skin feels suddenly even more sensitive as they come over and inspect him, his naked body raw and vulnerable. 

“Sweetheart, are you alright?” Julian says, coming close and reaching a hand over to his jaw. Artemis whines desperately and tears come to his eyes without his bidding as he leans into the touch, helpless to stop himself from seeking comfort. “There, that wasn’t so bad, was it?” 

Artemis sniffs and makes a small noise, shaking his head a little. Hopefully Julian will take it to mean that it wasn’t bad, but to Artemis it means, _no, it was bad. It was worse than bad. Please take me away from this place. _But he isn’t sure that he has the confidence to say any of that, and so keeps his eyes on Julian’s shirt, hopeful this means his ordeal is over. Thankfully, it seems that he’s right. Maecilius starts unhooking the machine from him and Artemis watches him dully. Julian on the other hand undies the strap at his neck and then reaches around to unbuckle the gag. Artemis sobs in relief and gives his jaw a stretch. 

“Thank you, Dominus,” he says quietly, his throat sore. Julian hums and strokes a hand through his hair, watching his face with a keen eye, and Artemis nearly whines again, shifting into the touch and closing his eyes. 

Julian holds him for a moment before unclipping the nipple clamps. Artemis yelps but tries to keep his reaction under control, biting his lip and breathing evenly as pain washes over him. 

“Good boy, there we go,” he says, rubbing Artemis’ shoulder. Artemis shudders, and groans as Maecilius takes out the plug. Julian unbuckles the straps then, and Artemis inches his limbs back to himself and sits up. Julian rubs his shoulder and squeezes his neck. 

“There’s a shower right this way,” Maecilius says to Julian, “if you want him to wash off before you take him home.”

“Yes, that would be appreciated, thank you,” Julian says, but doesn’t move just yet. Artemis waits for the order to go but Julian just rubs his neck and lets him rest. He’s tired and he appreciates the moment to just _be. _

Julian strokes his cheek softly, the backs of his fingers brushing over his chapped lips. Artemis opens his mouth a little automatically but Julian’s hand strays to his jaw next, just petting him lightly. The touch is nice, and Artemis yearns to sink against his master’s warm chest and be held by him. His skin tingles with need.

“Alright, let’s go,” Julian says finally, taking his shoulder, and Artemis nods dazedly, wrapping his arms around himself and standing. The room is cool and he’s only just now really allowed himself to feel it. He feels _freezing_ now. “Yes, Dominus,” he says as an afterthought. He follows Julian to the small room where there are several plain shower stalls lined up. When Julian gives his lower back a small push, he goes in one, leaving the curtain open out of habit as he turns on the water. He gets it warm and then washes himself. He uses a bit of soap from the dispenser but doesn’t do a thorough wash. He’s too exhausted to care much. 

And Julian doesn’t seem to mind. He has a towel ready and he dries Artemis off himself, getting every inch of him with brisk strokes. Artemis knows he should protest. He can do that himself. But he’s tired and it feels nice. When he’s dry, Julian gives him his tunic and he feels a bit better once he’s pulled it on. Julian gives him a water bottle next. 

“Drink,” he says, and watches as Artemis downs a third of it. “Good boy.”

Then Julian takes a folded piece of thick brown cloth from his satchel, and Artemis’ eyebrows draw. He isn’t sure what it is, until Julian shakes it out to reveal… a cloak? This, Julian drapes around him and holds it closed at his shoulder, making Artemis shiver. It’s soft and warm and he nearly sighs into the soothing fabric. Julian opens the pouch at his belt and pulls out a round metal pin, with some design on the face Artemis can’t make out. Artemis looks at Julian briefly with large eyes before dropping his gaze again. He’s never worn a cloak this nice before, and never given directly from a master. 

“Thank you, Dominus,” he says softly, and Julian hums, giving him a small smile. 

“You need it,” he says, and then goes back to Maecilius as they finish talking business. Artemis keeps his eyes down and strays close to Julian, and he adjusts the cloak up to gather at his neck and keep him warmer. It truly does help in the chill of the room, and convincing him not to curl up and weep. He barely listens to the conversation, just watching Julian’s feet and wanting to go home. 

He’s grateful when finally Julian takes his leave. He follows closely, too tired and out of sorts to care about anything but making sure Julian’s in front of him. At the taxa, Julian urges him in first before he settles in next. Artemis shifts closer, pressing up close to Julian and hesitantly putting his head on his shoulder, remembering that Julian likes that. He feels out of it. He feels cold and dizzy, still. 

Julian hums, reaching in and taking his hands in large, warm ones of his own to squeeze them and run them gently for warmth. 

“You were brave for going through that, so thank you.”

Artemis makes a small noise. “You’re welcome, Dominus,” he says, voice rough. He’s trying not to dwell on what he really thinks of the whole ordeal, which is that he was betrayed for no reason other than Julian’s own profit. 

At home, he follows Julian into the house with his eyes down, feeling somehow like he’s done something shameful even though it was in no way his fault. He wonders if Markus knows what happened. He wonders if Julian has ever subjected any of the other house slaves to such treatment.

When he sees Markus standing in the tablīnum, holding a folder and watching them with wide, serious eyes and a frown, his own eyes widen with confusion and surprise; does Markus know where they went? What happened? Would he care? Artemis glances to Julian again and drops his eyes, feeling suddenly like crying again. 

In the bedroom, Julian puts his bag on a chair—Artemis only just notices that he hadn’t been asked to carry it—and takes out the water bottle. “Sit,” he says, and then when Artemis is on the bed he hands it to him. “Drink.” 

Artemis nods and drinks another third of it until Julian holds his hand out and takes it back. Julian watches him. “And how are you feeling?” he asks after a moment, and Artemis blinks. 

How is he supposed to answer that? 

“I’m feeling… alright, Dominus,” he says quietly, and absolutely doesn’t think about the part of him that _feels_ like breaking down and sobbing. Screaming. Giving Julian a good punch for his trouble. 

Julian hums and takes Artemis’ face in his hands, holding it up while Artemis keeps his eyes down. Julian strokes his freckled cheeks gently. “Get undressed. In the bed,” Julian says quietly, holding Artemis’ face until the slave looks at him and nods. He bites back another whine. 

“Yes, Dominus.”

“Good boy,” Julian says, and moves his hands to Artemis’ shoulders, rubbing his collarbones with his thumbs. Artemis swallows in confusion, but assumes that Julian wants to engage with him in sexual intercourse, or something similar. He just wishes that he would have waited a few more hours, maybe given him enough time to get feeling back into his dick. 

Julian’s hand moves down his arm, and he leans in and kisses him. Artemis closes his eyes, making a small noise and kissing back. He likes kissing Julian, usually. He likes the reassurance that his master still wants physical contact with him that isn’t just fucking. It’s tender and sweet and almost a reward for bearing everything else.

Julian kisses his cheek and steps back, watching him. Artemis takes a breath before rising shakily, undoing the clasp on the cloak and pulling his tunic off, folding both and setting them on a chair before getting into the bed like Julian asked. 

His master undresses as well save black briefs, turns out the lights, and draws the curtain over the door, before slipping in next to him. He pulls Artemis against him back-to-front, and just holds him. 

Artemis breathes quietly, staring into the dark, and waits.

But nothing comes. So Julian _isn’t_ going to fuck him, probably. Thank the gods.

After a long while of lying in the dark, his thoughts go back to what happened. He isn’t sure what to feel about it exactly, but he knows he doesn’t feel good. He doesn’t _like _that Julian left him in that place. He isn’t sure why exactly this is different from anything else, though. Why is this different from when Julian fucks him or asks him to give him a blowjob? Artemis doesn’t have a choice to do those things, so why was this different? 

He doesn’t know. He just knows that he feels betrayed and… really, really like an object Julian just wanted to use for his own gain. Julian doesn’t care about him, even if it seems like he does. He doesn’t care about his feelings, or much about how he feels about him. Artemis wonders if Julian thought about what would happen after he took him to that place. Does he expect Artemis to be perfectly alright? Maybe he expects him to hide his feelings and keep playing the part of the happy, contented slave? 

The thought is a heartbreaking one. He thought... he didn’t know what he thought. That Julian wouldn’t be like that? He doesn’t know. But he finds silent tears dripping down his cheeks, regardless. He daren’t move or make a noise, but he can’t will away his grief and confusion. He thought he might be happy here. He supposes he was wrong. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Translations:**  
_contra bonos mores_ (title) - against good morals - offensive to the conscience and to a sense of justice  
_dominus_ \- master  
_medicus_ \- doctor  
_magister_ \- a professor or teacher


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Markus and Artemis have a talk.

**Markus’ POV**

Markus knows something is wrong, when he sees Artemis the next day in the culīna looking listless and empty. Usually the boy at least looks pleasant and interested enough in what’s going on, considering. This is… not normal. 

Julian took him to the lab yesterday, that much is certain. Markus doesn’t know exactly what went on there, but he can guess. Julian has never done this before, but Markus knows the opinions some of his family have about ‘breaking a slave in’ and ‘using them properly’. If Markus could guess, someone gave Julian some pretty terrible advice, and now they all have to pay for it. It happened to Markus years ago when he was newer and belonged to Julian’s father, though he’d given a lab tech a bloody nose in the process, and gotten himself whipped for his trouble. Thankfully, they don’t whip slaves anymore. Not in this domus, anyway. 

He grabs a cutting board and starts chopping onions next to Artemis. Artemis startles but looks back to his work without asking. Markus glances to Amos, who has his back to them and is happily humming a tune as he adds spices to a dish. 

“You alright?” Markus whispers, leaning in close to the boy, who flinches and stutters. 

“Uh-huh—uh—y-yes. Yes I’m fine,” Artemis says, but it sounds like he’s trying to wrestle the words out. Markus looks at him tensely. 

“Yeah? Can I ask… what happened yesterday?”

Artemis stares hard at the carrots he’s chopping. “Dominus took me to th—to the l—” He can’t even say it. His lower lip wobbles, his eyelids flickering. He takes a breath but doesn’t say anymore, and Markus feels his gut twist. He rubs Artemis’ shoulder. 

“Amos, I’m going to take him for a minute. He’ll be right back.”

Amos grunts and waves, barely looking at them as he gets back to cooking. 

Artemis is tense, looking fearfully down. “Did I do something wrong?” he asks. Markus shakes his head. 

“No, you didn’t do anything wrong. I just want to talk to you about what happened.”

Artemis swallows and nods. “Okay.” He washes his hands and Markus takes him into the pantry. It’s dark in there, with the stone walls and rough wood floor. It smells musty but sweet with all the vegetables and cans in here. A small amount of light filters in through a high window, barred off. Markus takes him and sits him down on the bench there, making sure the door is closed. Artemis fidgets and rubs his arm. 

Markus sits down and makes sure his body language is non-threatening, looking at Artemis gently. 

“You don’t have to tell me what happened.” 

Artemis nods, seeming grateful. 

“But how are you doing?”

The look Artemis gives him then breaks his heart, and then he looks down and shrugs, frowning. “Alright.”

Markus exhales tensely. 

“I’m sorry that happened. Julian shouldn’t have… taken you there.”

Artemis sniffs and wets his lips. “Well. He did.”

Markus hisses softly and puts an arm around him, drawing him in. Artemis leans into him, some hostility dropping from his eyes. “Come here,” Markus urges, tugging the boy closer, and Artemis makes a small noise but leans into him further, letting Markus pull him into a hug. Markus squeezes him tightly despite the awkward angle, and he can hear Artemis sniffle. 

The poor kid. He doesn’t deserve this. 

“It’s alright. I know that place is awful and Julian… didn’t realize what he was doing.”

Artemis sobs into his shoulder, the tears coming wetly. Markus swallows down a noise of his own and rubs Artemis’ back. The kid is so warm and soft against him, but pained. So confused and upset. Markus wants to kiss him and love him in all the ways that would make him feel better and loved, in ways that Julian is useless at. The prick. 

He says that… with affection, to a degree. He cares for Julian and does love him, but… Julian can be a _massive_ idiot sometimes. Stupid and cruel, without realizing what the hell he’s doing and how it can affect people, especially slaves, who can’t really protest what he’s doing. Well, new slaves anyway who don’t know Julian well and don’t have a history with him. 

Markus sighs, thinking back to when he and Julian were younger. But he doesn’t have time for that. He shakes his head and focuses on the body in his arms. 

Artemis is just… so sweet. He’s the wrong person for Julian to be putting through the wringer, at least in the way that he has. Something just isn’t working, though he knows Artemis wants to make Julian happy. He knows Artemis likes him. Or did. 

Markus squeezes him tighter. 

He remembers, then, that there are spare towels under this bench. He lets Artemis go for a moment before reaching down to grab one and hold it up to him. Artemis’ face is red and tear-stained. He takes it and blows his nose into it, wiping his face. 

“There, that’s a good boy.”

Artemis shudders, still leaning into him. “I just…” He bites his lip and Markus rubs his back, giving him time. “I just… didn’t like when he—when he didn’t say what was h-happening. And when he—_left_.” Artemis dissolves into tears again, heaving wetly into the towel. Markus swallows thickly. Yeah, that would… do it. 

Someone like Artemis needs reassurance and comfort, or he’ll feel alone and scared. Markus thinks the day would have gone a lot better if Julian had just _stayed, _and _explained. _Artemis is sweet but he seems tough, too. As long as he knows that he’s being listened to, and isn’t being abandoned. Markus wonders if he’s felt abandoned much in his past. Probably. 

“Yeah, I know, sweetheart,” he says, squeezing him again. “I know.”

Artemis breathes and blows his nose a few more times, calming down slowly.

“Has that ever… ever happened to you?” he asks after a while, and Markus looks at him and smiles, though it doesn’t reach his eyes. He lets out a tense breath. 

“Oh… in a way. In different ways over the years.” He looks down. “People have let me down.” 

He thinks about his long-ago love, Lupa, and his parents. Julian has let him down many times, though he’s made up for it, on the whole. 

It’s minutes later when he realizes he’s lost in thought. He shakes his head. “But you don’t want to hear about that,” he says with a small laugh. Artemis is still looking at him, his eyebrows knit, and his brief smile is gone in a second. The boy looks down, and puts his head on Markus’ shoulder. They’re sitting side-by-side, Artemis warm against him. He seems to have settled finally, though Markus doesn’t count it as a victory. 

He doesn’t want to tell Artemis what he plans on doing next. He doesn’t want to frighten him, or involve him if things go sour. But he will be speaking with Julian about this. Because Artemis deserves better than that, and if anyone is going to tell Julian the truth, it’ll be him. 

He wanted to give Julian a piece of his mind the other day when he and Artemis had come back from the Universitas, but he knew he couldn’t be hasty. But seeing Artemis like this hurts him, and he won’t stand for it. He gives Artemis’ head a kiss, and sighs.

Eventually, Artemis stirs. 

“I should probably get back to work,” he says in a quiet voice, but he looks better. A little. He shifts up, slowly, looking at nothing, and turns to give Markus a brief, barely-there smile. “Thanks.”

Markus gives him a smile back. “‘Course. I said you could come to me for hugs. I did mean it. If y’ever need one, I’ll be here.”

Artemis laughs lightly, but his cheeks are warm as he nods. “Thanks, Markus. I appreciate it a lot.”

Reaching out, Markus takes Artemis’ face in his hand and strokes his cheek. “You’ll be alright,” he says, and Artemis nods. He wipes his face again on the towel and leaves the pantry.

As soon as the door swings shut, Markus’ smile falls, and he closes his eyes, putting his face in his hands and exhaling tensely.

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Translation:**  
_domus_ \- strictly; house, but in this case it's used more to mean 'family'  
_culīna_ \- kitchen


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Markus has a talk with Julian.

He finds Julian in the tablīnum working at his computer. 

“Dominus,” he says, since they’re in a public part of the domus and it’s broad daylight outside. Pria and Cecilia are chatting in the peristȳlium close by as Cecilia does coursework and Pria mends a tunic. 

Julian glances at him but doesn’t cease typing. “Yes, what is it?”

“Would it be possible to speak to you in my office about an… urgent matter?”

Julian pauses and looks up at him, eyebrows drawn. “Yes… certainly,” he says. “Just a moment.”

“Of course.” Markus stands out of the way for a minute, going over what he’s about to say. He isn’t entirely sure that this won’t enflame Julian’s temper, but he at least knows he won’t be sold. And he has a good idea that once Julian hears what he has to say, punishing Markus would do absolutely nothing. And Markus has been punished enough in the past that it would barely affect him, anyway. Julian knows that. 

It isn’t long before Julian finishes and stands, going out of the tablīnum and down the hall into the slave quarters. Markus follows him into the office. He thinks of it as his office but technically he knows he just works there. 

Julian turns to him once they’re alone in the dim room, the door closed. His eyebrows are raised and Markus takes a breath, putting his hands behind his back. 

“It’s about Artemis.”

Julian’s eyes widen in surprise and panic—as if he knows there’s something wrong with Artemis, but just hasn’t admitted it to himself yet—for a second, before narrowing skeptically. “What about him?”

“I know where you took him yesterday, and I don’t think he’s…”

Julian presses his lips together and raises his chin. 

“...alright.”

“Nonsense. He’s perfectly fine.”

“He’s _not,_” Markus says firmly, eyes hard on Julian’s. Julian stares at him in return, and looks away, a hint of confusion on his face. 

“Why do you think that?”

“I saw him, it’s not _difficult_ to infer.” Markus can’t help the anger in his voice, and Julian’s eyebrows draw in annoyance. 

“You _saw _him?” he crosses his arms and Markus feels a frisson of anxiety, but ignores it. 

“Yes, I _saw _him. Didn’t _you, see _him? He looks like—” Markus cuts himself off, not wanting to push it. Or make Julian feel too badly. 

Julian looks at him, lip curling. “He looks like _what?”_

Markus glares at him for a moment. “He looks like a fucking _ghost_. Like he’ll never smile again. Like what you put him through—” Markus stops again, looking away. 

“_Yes?”_ Julian demands, getting into Markus’ space. Markus doesn’t budge. He looks back. 

“It changed him, and _not_ for the better. He wasn’t ready for that. And you _certainly_ didn’t go about properly. What were you _thinking?”_ Markus can feel his own temper pulsing just below the surface and knows he’s stepping out of line, not like there’s ever really been a line, for them. Julian’s eyes widen, his fingers twitching—Markus thinks for a second he might get slapped—but Julian’s eyes are hard on his and his lips twitch up in a grimace. 

He stares at him for a long while before looking away. His lips are pressed together. 

“He should have been fine.”

“Well, he _isn’t._”

“What _exactly_ is he?” Julian asks, turning back to him. 

Markus exhales and rubs his face. 

“You say you saw him but how can you know what he’s thinking.”

Markus looks away and Julian takes a tense breath, letting it out slowly. 

“You talked to him.” 

Silence. 

Julian sighs. 

“What did he say?” Some of the heat has gone out of his gaze. 

Markus’ own lips curl. He doesn’t want to betray Artemis’ confidence. 

Julian looks away and swallows. “I didn’t want to hurt him. But I have. He seemed… stable. And now he’s…”

“You’ve noticed it,” Markus says quietly, and Julian exhales and nods. 

“Yes.” His shoulders drop slightly, and he looks miserable. Markus wants to take pity on him. 

“You just can’t… not explain to him what’s going on,” he says carefully, eyebrows drawn. He thinks of how sensitive Artemis is. “And you shouldn’t… leave him. Not now. Not yet. You’ve only _just_ got him.” Markus looks on the floor, and hopes that Artemis’ll be alright. He thinks he will, if Julian doesn’t fuck up again. 

Julian exhales tightly. “Shit. You’re right. I know you are.” He looks down and fidgets, and Markus is reminded of the vulnerable and confused boy he once was. The rare moments he showed that side of himself, anyway. Between his terrifying bouts of anger and carnal lust. Thankfully he’s mellowed over the years. 

“You want him to _trust_ you, Julian,” Markus explains cautiously. “And he can’t do that if you throw him into things he’s not ready for, and don’t listen to him when he seems like he’s in distress. That just… doesn’t work.”

Markus has seen slaves who break young, and he doesn’t want that for Artemis. He doesn’t want him to be bitter and angry, or worse—hollow inside. 

Julian’s lip curls and he closes his eyes in seeming regret. He sniffs and opens them again. “Alright. Thank you for telling me, Markus,” he says, and after a long moment he turns to him and his lips turn up briefly. Markus returns it. 

“Yeah.” He looks away and the seconds tick by as they both reflect. “I want it to work out,” he says, nervous suddenly, as if these thoughts have just suddenly come to him without his bidding. “I want him to be what you want. But I also want him to still be…”

There’s silence for a long moment as they both think about what they want Artemis to be. 

“Himself,” Julian says finally, and Markus nods. 

“Yeah.” Markus looks into Julian’s eyes and sees warmth there. They both want Artemis to be alright. And Markus… does want Julian to be happy, and content. Call him a traitor to his principles for wanting his master to be happy, but Julian does his best. And he’s been good to Markus. Or so Markus tells himself.

Julian looks down, and back up into Markus’ eyes.

“Thank you.” Julian’s eyes betray his regret and sadness as he looks away. “I… I’ll talk to him. I… I don’t want him to… think I’m a monster.”

Markus breathes a laugh, though it comes out wet. He swallows. “You can fix it. It’ll be alright.”

Julian sighs. “Yeah.”

Markus does think Julian can fix things. If he talks to Artemis now. If he doesn’t just _leave him_ to deal with it on his own. 

After a minute, Julian turns back to Markus 

“Thank you for… telling me,” he says, like it pains him to say it, and Markus nods. 

“Someone has to… put you in your place,” he says with lips half-quirked. Julian smirks, a spark of something light in his eyes. 

“Oh yes. I certainly need that, don’t I?” he asks, sidling back to Markus again, his eyes slipping to the slave’s lips. Markus watches him, knowing where his thoughts are and knowing that he drew them there. He tilts his head.

“You need to be… put in your place quite a lot,” he says, low. This streak of submissiveness in Julian doesn’t come out often, but when it does it always catches him by surprise, though he’s never opposed to it. 

Julian hums. “And that’s why I keep you around,” he says, leaning in _very close_, and looking up at Markus. 

At this close distance, Markus’ extra few inches are easily apparent. Markus huffs softly, closing the extra space so their lips nearly brush, though the comment stings just a little, even though he knows Julian is teasing. Is that the only reason? An outlet for his submissive inclinations, someone loyal and willing to fuck him? Oh well. Markus knows he could have a worse relationship with the one who holds his ownership papers. He probably would have been sold off long before now for his impertinence if Julian hadn’t been so thoroughly drawn to him, and he to his master in return. 

_Fuck. _

“Is that the only reason?” he asks, and Julian chuckles, his sharp canine teeth and the lust in his eyes showing. 

“Well, not the _only_ reason.” His teeth part and his tongue moves behind them, his gaze on Markus’ mouth. He leans in closer, looking into the older slave’s eyes and putting a hand on his chest, backing him up against the wall. Markus makes a small noise but allows it, turning his face away. _Fuck_. 

Julian brings his hand up and tilts Markus’ face back to look at him, which he does, and knows exactly what he’s thinking. _Oh, for…_

Julian kisses him, hand on his chest with his eyes closed. Helpless to his wants, Markus kisses back, eyebrows drawn. _Fuck_. The kiss is warm and soft, and Julian tastes of peppermint, and smells of that rich cologne he wears. It’s a good smell. It smells of home, for whatever that’s worth. 

Carefully, he puts hands on Julian’s hips, and wraps arms around him, holding him close. Julian hums, pressing small kisses to his lips and looking into his clear, grey eyes. 

“Thank you, again,” he says, but it sounds a lot like a different three-word sentence. Markus smiles and squeezes Julian tighter, for a second remembering the small, thin boy he used to be, who looked up at him with fear and need, and so much more in his eyes. 

He hopes Julian can comfort Artemis like Markus once comforted Julian. 

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Translations:**  
_tablīnum_ \- office or study of the paterfamilias, usually open to the ātrium on one side and the garden on the other  
_peristȳlium_ \- a peristyle, an open interior space (sometimes a garden) surrounded by columns


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Julian finds Artemis and tries to apologize.

Artemis is washing a pot when Julian comes into the culīna. Artemis doesn’t notice him at first but when he does, he turns quickly and takes his gloves off. 

“Dominus,” he says, eyes wide and worried for a moment before he remembers himself and drops his eyes. He tries to keep his emotions from his face, but it feels like his insides are being held in shape with cotton and sticks. He feels light and empty inside, weak and small. Like he might topple over if someone gave him a push. 

Julian looks at him with unusual worry, his arms crossed, and Artemis feels a heat in his chest like he’s done something wrong. What _else_ has he done wrong? 

“Do you need…?” He fidgets with the gloves, but Julian cuts him off and comes closer. 

“Are you alright, Ari?” he asks, and Artemis flinches minutely. 

“Yes, Dominus. I’m alright…” He swallows and looks down, feeling warmth tinge his cheeks at the lie but… hadn’t he _told_ Julian yesterday that he couldn’t handle what was about to happen? Hadn’t he _said_ it was too much? What does Julian want from him? The truth, or a lie? 

Julian steps closer to Artemis and takes his chin in one hand, lifting it. Artemis inhales in surprise and forces himself not to pull away. Julian’s fingers are warm, and a part of him wants to melt into the touch. He exhales shakily, keeping his eyes down, as Julian looks at him. Julian sighs softly. 

“Come with me. You’re not in trouble,” he says. 

Oh, good. Artemis isn’t sure what he would do if he _were _in trouble… He swallows thickly and nods, putting his gloves on the edge of the sink and following Julian out. His heart races as they walk, and he wonders what Julian wants him for, now that he’s clarified that he hasn’t done anything in the… twelve hours since they got back. Are they going to talk? Or is this a normal day where Julian wants him for some... personal matter? Artemis shivers to think of it, unsure how he would feel about that. Disgusted? Detached? Fearful? Sad? Everything at once? 

They go to Julian’s cubiculum. It’s dark, and when Artemis is inside, Julian presses the button to close the frosted sliding glass door, letting in cloudy afternoon light but making the room soundproof. 

“Come here,” Julian says, sitting on the bed. When Artemis stays frozen by the door, Julian pats the space beside him. Nervously, Artemis goes, sitting down with his hands in his lap. Julian looks at him in the silence. 

“I’m sorry about… yesterday,” he finally says, looking away, and Artemis feels his face warm uncomfortably, though with surprise. He peers at Julian cautiously, eyebrows knit together with confusion and hope. Julian sighs and wipes his face. “It… I was given the wrong advice and… I didn’t realize it would affect you so negatively.”

Artemis looks away and swallows, fidgeting with his hands in his lap. 

Julian looks down at him, contrition on his face, as if finally seeing the distress he’s in. Was in. Has continued to be in since yesterday. 

“It did, didn’t it?”

Artemis feels his bottom lip wobble and he gives a small nod. “Y-yeah,” he manages, swallowing. He wants to ask Julian why he didn’t listen to him yesterday. Why he didn’t seem to care when he was in distress. Why _hadn’t _he _cared?_

Julian exhales and runs a hand through his hair. “I apologize. Truly, I… I don’t know why I didn’t realize you weren’t alright… I just…” He takes a breath. “I was blinded by… well. I thought you could handle it, and I was wrong, and I don’t want to put you in that situation again. I won’t.”

Artemis looks at Julian carefully, genuinely surprised by the apology and affirmation. He nods slowly. “Thank you, Dominus,” he says, dropping his eyes again, and wondering if that’s all Julian’ll say. He sighs quietly.

“You weren’t prepared for it,” Julian says after a moment, “I shouldn’t have left, and I didn’t listen to you in the first place. Yes?”

Artemis’ eyebrows draw, and he realizes that Markus told Julian what Artemis said. He feels a tiny bit of hurt and betrayal at the realization, but tries to push past it. Julian seems… contrite. 

Artemis exhales shakily. He hopes this isn’t a trap. He doesn’t want to be caught out… _complaining_ or something. “I…” His voice is high-pitched

“Tell me,” Julian says gently, putting a hand on Artemis’ back. Artemis nods, wringing his hands. 

“Yes… yes, I… yes, Dominus,” he says quietly, biting his lip. Yes, all of that is true. Julian just… _left_ him there. And didn’t even… care when he said… 

Julian sighs and rubs his back, feeling the notches in his curved spine. 

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to leave you alone like that. It was irresponsible of me.”

Artemis takes a shaky breath. 

“And I won’t… do that again. I won’t ever just leave you, if you can’t handle it. I’ll listen to you. And I’m just… I’m so sorry I left you, Artemis.”

Slowly, Julian reaches to take his hand, and Artemis lets him, shivering when Julian squeezes it, holding it, and brings it up to his lips to kiss. Artemis watches him carefully, nervous about this openness. But he wants… he wants… 

Slowly, he leans in, against Julian’s shoulder. He nuzzles against his tunic, seeking heat and softness and comfort, and shifts closer, with his hand still in Julian’s. And Julian looks at him nervously, as if he’s worried Artemis might break apart any second. Cautiously, as if not to startle a frightened animal, he lifts his arm and wraps it around Artemis, holding him close. Artemis shivers as Julian continues to rub his hand, stroking his arm where he’s holding it, and Artemis sighs into the touch, feeling himself relax. Calming down a little. 

The minutes pass, and after a while Artemis finds himself shifting away and down, and putting his head in Julian’s lap, and curling up. He shivers, nervous, but he hears Julian inhale, and put careful hands on him, stroking his arm, and his hair, and neck. Artemis sighs, his hand straying to Julian’s thigh, holding him lightly, and he relaxes a little as Julian pets him. It’s nice. 

He knows things aren’t… resolved. His trust in Julian is still broken, what little there was of it. But he feels a little better. A little more hopeful that Julian realizes that what he did hurt him deeply. 

After a while, Artemis hears Julian lean back, lying on the bed. His hands are still in Artemis’ hair, and he pets the young slave softly as they lay in the dark. 

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Translations:**  
_culīna_ \- kitchen


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Julian tries to gain Ari's trust back, and Ari wonders if he has it in himself to give.

They stay there for what seems like hours, before Artemis starts to feel a little stiff and shifts up, yawning quietly and stretching his shoulders. He sniffs and wipes his face. Beside him, Julian sits up too, running a hand through his hair and looking at him. Artemis swallows, hands in his lap. 

“Let’s take a shower, alright?” Julian says gently.

A shower? Now? But all he says is, “Yes, Dominus,” and Julian’s lips quirk up a little, though his eyes still look tired. 

“Good boy.”

  


The shower water is warm, and Artemis shivers contentedly as the spray washes over him. It feels so good compared to his lukewarm shower yesterday, and which he still felt dirty afterwards. 

He turns to wash Julian first, but as soon as his master is in the shower, Julian nudges Artemis a little under the spray instead and gets shampoo from the bottle. It’s nice smelling coconut this time, and Artemis shivers as Julian rubs it into his hair. He’s careful not to get water or soap in Ari’s eyes too, which is Artemis is curiously surprised by. Maybe he just thinks now that Julian doesn’t care about him, so why should he care about this? 

The gentleness Julian is showing him is confusing, but Artemis isn’t about to take it for granted. He thinks that maybe Julian’s trying to make it up to him, to make him feel better and less strung out from the other day. Artemis doesn’t know how long it’ll last, but he’s glad it’s happening regardless. 

Julian washes and rinses Artemis’ hair before soaping his body up and rinsing him off. His touches are barely sexual. He strokes Artemis’ cock a few times, when Artemis doesn't flinch away from him, but he doesn’t follow through. It makes Artemis want him, and he doesn’t know how he feels about that. Is it… good, that he still wants Julian? Should he feel disgusted by him, still? Artemis doesn’t know. 

When Julian’s finished, he doesn’t do more than rub a bit of soap over himself before he’s rinsing, turning the water off, and nudging Artemis out. He gets a towel and wraps it around the slave, before drying himself and wrapping the towel around his waist. He dries Artemis’ hair, ruffling it, and Artemis laughs softly. Julian practically grins, leaning in to peck his cheek. Artemis flushes, pleased, and Julian carefully leans in to kiss his lips. 

It’s surprising, but Artemis shivers and kisses back warmly, leaning into Julian and making a small noise as he grips the towel around him. Julian smiles and takes his jaw in hand to kiss him softly, tenderly. Enjoying and not pushing him. 

When Julian leans away, he looks at him for a long moment, and then pulls him into a hug. The breath leaves Artemis at the suddenness of it, and the tightness of it, and he feels tears at his eyes, but they aren’t of pain. Julian’s larger body is warm and firm and gentle around him, and Artemis makes a small noise, leaning his head on Julian’s shoulder after a minute. It’s nice. He likes it. He sniffs and sighs, releasing some remaining pent-up anxiety. He feels safe here, like this, and he thinks—hopes—that Julian will at least _think_ about what he does in the future. Not that he has any obligation to. But Artemis isn’t sure what he would do if something like this happened again. He _wants _to trust Julian, but he isn’t sure if he can. He still feels fragile, and off, and scared every time Julian does anything. 

Julian holds him for a long while, rubbing his back and loosening his hold a little only to squeeze him even more tightly a second later. 

It’s healing. Cathartic. Artemis feels like he’s being squeezed of pain and fear, being healed, somehow. 

When Julian leans away again, still holding him and watching him nervously, Artemis feels relief and tension, but also exhaustion. It’s so much. Too much, in such a short space of time. He feels like he might cry again. And Julian seems to sense that, because his face falls slightly, like seeing Artemis in distress is unbearable—now that he knows how painful it is, and that it’s not fun for him. 

So he leans in and gives Artemis one more hug, and Artemis suddenly can’t help the sob that escapes him, the whine he tries to hide in his towel against Julian’s shoulder. The expression of grief is like a wave he’s suddenly been allowed to express, and he hears Julian take a shaky breath, rubbing his back, as if he doesn’t know what to do. But he holds Artemis tight and lets him cry. 

“Shh, come here,” he says gently, sitting slowly down on the thick rug and against the bathroom cabinet. Artemis follows, sniffing and curling up beside him with his knees pulled to his chest. Julian sits with an arm around him, and Artemis takes a deep, ragged breath. At Julian’s encouraging hand, he puts his head on his shoulder, taking shaky breaths and letting the tears come and go. Julian pets him, stroking his hair and rubbing his shoulder. It helps. Artemis feels better, and safer, and worn out. Tired. 

“There, there we go,” Julian whispers quietly. “It’s alright now. You’re alright, Ari. You’re safe here with me, okay?”

Artemis nods a little, just breathing. He doesn’t trust himself to speak in this state. His throat is sore, and his face is red, and his nose is stuffy. And his whole body hurts, aches in a way that it didn’t a day ago. 

“I’m sorry, again,” Julian says quietly, and Artemis feels tears, again. But he nods, anxious and nervous to hear Julian _apologizing_. 

“Thank you, Dominus,” he says very quietly, nuzzling into Julian’s shoulder a little more, soaking up his heat. It’s calming. He looks up at his master carefully, hopefully. 

Julian exhales heavily, leaning back, and Artemis curls a little closer, and they sit in the silence until Artemis closes his eyes sleepily, feeling lose and worn out, but not in immediate danger. 

He’s not sure when but, later, he hears Julian’s voice again. 

“Artemis? Are you asleep?” Julian breathes a quiet laugh, and Artemis hums, feeling very sleepy. He doesn’t think he slept that much the other night, actually. He kept waking up in Julian’s arms feeling like a rabbit in the arms of a wolf. He shivers. 

“No, Dominus,” he says quietly, and Julian hums, reaching over to pet him again. Artemis leans into it a little. 

“Hm. So I’m going to do some work this afternoon, here, possibly. I’ve had a desk put in, so I can do work in peace.”

Artemis looks at Julian still a little shyly, his mouth covered by his towel. He nods. “Okay…?”

Julian looks into his eyes, and his smile is sad and cautious. “So, you can stay here if you like, in bed or with me. You can go back to the cellae—read, watch TV, sleep—or you can go find Markus to give you something easy to do… whatever you want.”

Artemis’ eyes widen slightly and he blinks fast in confusion. It’s strange to be given so much choice, and he has to absorb the information for a moment. He doesn’t know what he should do.

“Um…”

“Whatever you choose, it’s alright,” Julian reassures, and Artemis nods. 

“_Um…_” He rubs his face and takes a breath, looking around the balneum and into Julian’s cubiculum. “In… in the cubiculum would… I would like to stay here,” he says quietly, face warming as he says what he wants. Julian gives him a somewhat relieved smile, though that could be just because he’s interacting at all. 

“Okay,” he replies, squeezing Artemis softly. 

  


Julian rises eventually, but stops Artemis when he starts to rise as well. 

“You can stay here until you’re ready, alright?” he says, and Artemis nods, embarrassed but thankful. 

“Yes, Dominus,” he murmurs. Julian gives him a small smile and goes to get dressed. Artemis watches him shyly, appreciating the smooth lines of him as he drops a rich ocean blue tunic over his head and buckles a belt overtop, slipping on a pair of light sandals and going over to his desk where his laptop is. 

Artemis wonders why Julian had it put in here. To watch over him? Surely he has a more private office somewhere quiet… He sighs and waits a few minutes before taking the towel from around his shoulders and drying his hair more thoroughly, not wanting to soak Julian’s fluffy pillows. He dries off the rest of himself and wraps the towel around his waist a little nervously, hoping that’s allowed. 

Julian hadn’t given him a new tunic and he doesn’t think his master would appreciate him taking his other one out of the laundry basket. But when he goes into the cubiculum Julian just looks up at him with a small smile and doesn’t say anything, so Artemis guesses it’s alright. 

He goes to the bed, glancing at Julian and away, before taking the towel off and folding it, putting it on the side table. He then slips, naked, into the big, comfortable, luxurious bed. He shivers as he slides between the white sheets, the cool softness of it calling to him. 

Without thinking, he has his back to Julian, and he realizes this might be rude. But he’s tired and overwhelmed and Julian has never cared about that much before, so it’s probably alright. Though he might be alright with sleeping in the same room as Julian while he works, he still wants _some _separation between them. 

He pulls the gold-patterned quilt up around his ears and sighs, listening to Julian type on his laptop on the other side of the room. It’s a comforting noise, even after what happened. He doesn’t know why he feels like this, but at least he knows that if Julian isn’t angry with him—if he’s trying to make amends—then things are good, and Artemis can trust him a little. Of course, he usually has no choice in trusting him. But he _wants_ to trust Julian. He wants to feel safe and protected here. And for some reason, he feels that right now. Julian did apologize, and is treating him well. Artemis just hopes... truly hopes that Julian won’t take him to that place again. He doesn’t know if he could bear it. He certainly wouldn’t trust Julian again, or at the very least for a very, very long time. 

Or perhaps Artemis needs to just… stop being so scared all the time. That would do everyone good. It—it wasn’t actually that bad… he was just… so surprised at being taken there without explanation, then left alone, and being exposed and cold and confused. 

Artemis takes a shaky breath and curls up with his knees to his chest under the covers. Closing his eyes, he lets his body rest. 

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Translations:**  
_balneum_ \- washroom  
_cubiculum_ \- bedroom  
_cellae [servorum]_ \- slave dorm rooms


	6. Chapter 6

When he wakes, the first thing he notices is the novel he was reading in the cellae servorum is on the side table. He blinks in surprise, just looking at it for a moment as his eyes focus. 

Then he remembers where he is, and inhales, rubbing his face. 

“Sleep well?” comes Julian’s slightly more tired voice from the other side of the room. Artemis makes a small noise and looks over, seeing Julian still at his desk, now with glasses on and a barely-there, hesitant smile. Artemis returns it and turns over to face him, curling up more in the covers and hoping that’s alright—but Julian looks fondly at him when he moves, so he thinks it is. 

“Yes, Dominus,” he says quietly, sniffing and looking down with a yawn. He rubs his face again and thinks he saw on the clock that several hours had passed. _Juno… _

“Good.” Julian takes off his glasses and rubs his eyes. “I’m working for a bit longer and then we’ll go down for cēna…” He looks at Artemis, putting his glasses back on. “You can rest or use the balneum if you wish. I had Pria bring up the book you were reading, in case you wanted it.”

Artemis colours in embarrassment, utterly unused to being treated like this. Julian… must feel very badly if he’s letting him essentially do what he wants. 

“I… thank you, Dominus,” he says, glancing at Julian quickly. “Your slave is appreciative of you letting him rest,” he says, a little stilted, unsure suddenly how to speak. Unwilling to use familiar language as he’s done before. Unwilling to annoy Julian. He hates feeling like this. 

And he regrets looking up again, because he catches the worried, upset look on Julian’s face, and thinks that, no, that wasn’t the right thing to say. He swallows, dropping his gaze as he tries not to get upset himself at the disappointment on Julian’s face. But he does anyway, because his feelings are so complicated now. He doesn’t know what to do. He just wants to avoid what happened the other day. But he still feels… bad. 

Maybe Julian was upset with him somehow and that’s why he took him to that place. So, the obvious course correction to take would be to try to please Julian again. But he’s not doing it right. 

“Yes…” Julian says in a low, gentle voice. 

Artemis swallows thickly, tense and sad, and after a minute Julian takes his glasses off again and leaves the room, rubbing his eyes. Artemis watches him go as hot tears gather at his own eyes. Now Julian is upset with him. It’s obvious. Artemis takes even breaths and makes himself push up in the bed. He sits on the edge and takes in cool air, trying to calm down. He doesn’t know what to do. He can’t follow Julian. But he doesn’t feel like he deserves to be in bed. 

_Gods—_someone_ help him. _

He stands nervously, bare feet shifting on the woven rug, and goes to the balneum. He doesn’t close the door as he goes to a corner and sits down with his knees pressed to his chest. Out of sight and out of mind. He shouldn’t interact with Julian if he’s just going to upset him. And Julian doesn’t want him for anything so maybe it would be best to just stay out of his way. 

Artemis sniffs and swallows, unable to stop the tears that flow down his face and drip off his chin as he tries not to sob. 

  


“_Artemis?”_

Artemis gasps in surprise and quickly wipes his face, startled from silent misery. Julian’s voice is just slightly panicked, and Artemis feels a shiver of dread trickle through him, of fear. Though not of Julian. Not really. 

“Y-yes, Dominus,” he says, and his throat feels like he’s been screaming. 

He feels stupid for being her suddenly, and he shifts to get up but then Julian is in the room looking down at him, worried and confused. Artemis looks up at him, frozen, and forces his eyes down. “I…”

“It’s alright,” Julian says, hands out. “It’s alright.” 

Slowly, Julian crouches down next to him, and sits against the wall. Artemis curls up a little more without realizing it, frightened by how nervous Julian seems. 

“I… I didn’t mean to upset you,” Julian says after a few beats. “You… can talk how you feel most comfortable,” he says, but Artemis just looks at the floor miserably, head low. 

“Yes. I’m sorry. I mean. Thank you, Dominus.” He curls up a little more. “I didn’t mean to… I’m just. I’m sorry.” His throat is starting to hurt again. 

“You have absolutely nothing to be sorry for,” Julian says, putting a hand on his shoulder. Artemis flinches, and Julian exhales quietly. He takes a breath and lets it out. “This is my fault,” he says sadly. “Completely my fault. It was stupid of me to take you there.”

Artemis can’t help the quiet laugh that bubbles up at the understatement in that sentence, though he tries to hide it. Julian smiles, too, though his eyes are still worried. 

“It was stupid.” He looks away, staring at the cabinet with haunted eyes. “I was just… misinformed. I thought… well. I’m sorry, again. I’m not upset at you. And I would never want to… hurt you like that. Seeing you like this… I can’t bear it.” 

Artemis looks up at Julian somberly, watching him, and can see the weary desperation on his face. It helps him relax, a little. 

“Thank you, Dominus,” he says softly.

Julian turns to him with a small sigh. 

Carefully, so as not to spook him, he leans in close and kisses his cheek, his jaw, his temple, and Artemis warms, pleased. Unexpectedly calm. Julian’s lips tug up a little. 

“You have such a pretty smile,” he says quietly, and Artemis can’t help his own lips twitching up. 

“Thank you, Dominus,” he says again, just above a whisper. Julian hums and squeezes Ari’s shoulder, leaning back against the wall as they both soak in the silence. 

After a while, Ari looks down. Julian looks over at him, watching him. 

“Are you hungry at all?” he asks quietly, eyebrows knit, and Artemis looks up at him and nods a little. He wipes his nose.

“Yes, Dominus,” he says with a small smile. He is hungry, probably more hungry than he realized. 

“Mm. Alright. Well, let’s go down to have cēna, yes?”

“Yes,” Ari says, and Julian huffs a soft laugh. 

“Good boy. You change into a tunic and I’ll be at my desk, okay?”

“Okay. Thank you, Dominus.”

Julian hums, kissing his nose and standing. Artemis watches him go, appreciative and thankful and relieved. He still feels sadly anxious, but he doesn’t think he’s in danger of being taken anywhere again. Maybe he can relax just a little. 

  


He walks behind Julian to the triclīnium, and after Julian sits down at the table, he kneels down next to him on the padded cushion set out. He has his hands in his lap and his back straight, but Julian’s arm comes around him and tugs him closer. Artemis makes a small noise but relaxes against his master’s warmth. He turns his face into the fabric of his tunic, peering up at him, and Julian smiles and rubs his shoulder, holding him close. Ari sighs. This is nice. 

Julian drinks some wine and offers the glass to him, holding it out. 

“Oh… thank you,” Artemis says quietly, taking it and having a small sip slowly. It’s good; he doesn’t often get wine. He hands it back, and Julian takes it and sinks warm fingers into his hair, making him shiver. 

The food is served shortly, and Artemis finds himself being handed small bites of chicken or beans, and taking it from Julian’s fingers with his teeth. There’s something odd about eating from Julian’s fingers, now. These hands moved him about and didn’t free him when he was in distress, only comforted him afterward. 

After a while of this, Julian hands him a bowl with cut-up pieces in it and a fork, before cleaning his fingers and weaving them in Ari’s hair again. Artemis leans against Julian and eats quietly with his head down. When he’s finished and has given his bowl back, he turns his head in Julian’s lap and closes his eyes, enjoying the petting. 

Soon though he shivers, the cool evening air getting to him. Julian hums and strokes his neck, finishing his own food and rising. 

“Come on, sweetheart,” he says softly, and Artemis tries not to look too confused at the gentle treatment. Julian puts a hand on the small of his back and rubs him gently as they walk. 

  


Washing up and undressing for bed is quiet, and the rooms are dark, only lit by low lamps. It’s calming, and Artemis finds himself easily slipping into the bed as Julian finishes up. Artemis curls up between the silky sheets, the plush mattress, and the downy covers. Julian’s enormous bed often seems like a luxurious cocoon to him, or the nest of some great feathering bird. Of course, he still feels more relaxed in his own bed in the cellae, but this is still… nice. 

When Julian comes back from the balneum in loose trousers, he’s smiling softly, and he dips into the bed with a tiredness on his face that Artemis isn’t used to. He settles in, and they’re facing each other, though Artemis’ eyes are lowered. 

“Turn around?” Julian asks quietly, and Artemis’ heart beats hard with anxiety, but he sees the cautious, hopeful look on Julian’s face, and does it. There are several beats where nothing happens, but then Julian carefully takes him in his arms—and the touch is purely comforting. 

Artemis shivers, and knows that he will forgive Julian. 

He has to, or things unravel. He likes it here overall. Julian is a kind master, aside from when he isn’t. But he never does things… maliciously. Not really. 

And it comforts him that Julian is… doing this. Trying to make him feel better. Trying to apologize. Most masters wouldn’t give a _faex_. Artemis isn’t sure why Julian does, besides the obvious of not wanting to be around a jittery slave. He wonders what exactly Markus told him, and how he got him to listen. He can’t imagine speaking in opposition to a master. At least, none of the ones he’s had in his relatively short life. 

But he’s glad Markus is trying to help him, and that Julian listened to him. He wasn’t expecting anything of the kind, and he still isn’t sure how he feels about it, or if he trusts it, or how he’s supposed to react to this hot and cold with Julian. But he’s going to try to accept and live with it, because what else can he do? 

Nothing much, really. 

Nothing much at all. 

  


  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Translations:**  
_cellae servorum_ \- slave dorm rooms  
_cēna _\- supper  
_triclīnium _\- dining room  
_cubiculum _\- bedroom  
_balneum _\- washroom  
_faex_ \- shit

**Author's Note:**

> you can also find me on [tumblr](https://aylenwrites.tumblr.com/), [dreamwidth](https://aylen.dreamwidth.org/), and my main [tumblr](https://milarca.tumblr.com/), and [ao3](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Milarca)! comments are always appreciated ! ♡


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